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Behavior problems and what is normal behavior in a child is determined by child’s age, physical and emotional development, personality and what is socially and culturally acceptable in his or her surroundings. A child who may be considered normal in one part of the world may be considered as one with behavior problem in other part of the world. Family’s expectations, whether the action is disruptive and what is expected from an average child of that age determined whether a child has ‘good’ behavior or a ‘bad’ one. Children learn to behave in a certain manner by observing other people.
Behaviors that are appreciated or rewarded may make the children repeat them again and again and the behaviors that are ignored or warrant punitive actions are normally dropped off. It is the consistency of the parents that helps the child decide, whether to continue a behavior or not. Rewarding a behavior at one time and punishing the child for it on another, may just confuse the child and your child may develop behavior problem. Sometimes, we may have to decide whether the behavior is not a problem depending on the child's age and stage of development. Ignoring unwanted or ‘bad’ behavior is the best way to stop it in the long term as some children just repeat the actions as they crave for your attention, whether it is positive or negative.
When more drastic steps are needed to make the child stop a certain behavior, you may use the time-out method as a way of punishment. Explain once but do not discuss bad behavior again and again. Reinforce good behavior by giving rewards. Reward system works best for children above two years of age and it may take about two months to make the children understand how it works. Parents need to be patient. Keeping a diary and targeting at just one or two behaviors to change at once makes it easier for kids and parents too. Behaviors you choose can include brushing teeth before going to bed, keeping toys and books in their place and good table manners.
Rewards cane simple fun activities that you share with your children such as an extra bedtime story, allowing children to delay their bedtime by half an hour to watch their favorite cartoon, a preferred snack or points for older children that they can collect and use to get a special toy or favor from you. Before switching a child doing one thing to another, tell him beforehand, such as in five minutes, playtime will be over or it’s dinnertime in another ten minutes. Punishments and shouting at children may just make them rebellious or they may repeat the behavior to get your attention, which they may crave for more than any reward. Simply, do not give them the reward that they would have got, if they had behaved in the desired way.