|
|
Single parents and their children often have to face stigma, violence and social problems based on myths, stereotypes, half-truths and prejudices. Sometimes, the taunts can be subtle and leave subconscious effects. The best approach is to confront them and understand what is true and what is not. Some of the myths have been cross-examined here:
- Myth: Since culturally, traditional nuclear families are the norm
and predominant, single parenting is an aberration and single parents
are often left lonely and isolated.
Fact: Recently, single parent families have shown a sharp rise. In
U.S. alone, about 59 percent of American children have lived in a
single-parent home at least once during their minor years and over 16
million children currently live in single-parent homes. They are often
‘bi-nuclear’ families, where despite divorces and
re-marriages, both the parents are actively involved in parenting and
offer their children two separate homes.
- Myth: Children from single-parent families have emotional and
behavior problems and do poorly in school.
Fact: These conclusions are completely false and untainted researches
by other scholars such as that of Richards and Smiege, 1993 are
generally ignored. The outcomes of the oft-quoted 10-year study of
Judith S. Wallerstein cannot be trusted as it started with subjects
with problems such as from ones with psychological disorders or
juvenile delinquents on the first hand. Children of single parents can
be as healthy and emotionally secure as those from traditional
families.
- Myth: Single-parent families mean ‘broken homes’.
Fact: Parents who chose divorce or not marrying as a way of their life
doe not necessarily mean that they are trying to make a broken home
work. Many times, it turns out to be the healthiest choice to give
children a peaceful and stable home environment. Positive outcomes in
single-parent families are not uncommon and single parents are often
more independent and multi-tasking and their children actually learn
to handle greater responsibility.
The outcome of single parent families actually depends on social network and support to the family and good communication within the family. Children of divorcees can be as healthy and well-settled as other kids while they even enjoy greater stability and happiness in their marriages, as they are more adjusting and concentrate more on keeping their families intact and happy.
- Myth: Being brought up in single-parent families is detrimental to
children’s self-esteem.
Fact: Children’s self-esteem is linked mostly to the income level
of the family. Since single-parent families also have single income
coming in, they are often low-income households too and thus,
children's self-esteem tend to be lower too, similar to children of
low-income two-parent homes. Parents can teach resilience and
self-esteem skills to their children by being a model to them,
boosting their self-respect and self-nurturance and make them realize
that their possessions do not determine what they are.
- Myth: Families need to be self-sufficient, while single parent
families aren’t.
Fact: The emphasis on self-sufficiency often produces unnecessary
shame and guilt in parents who are emotionally and financially
challenged, including the single parents. One has to learn to be
interdependent, give and receive; taking our own responsibilities and
asking for support and engaging even professional help, when needed.