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Fitness
Read about parents and adult children, changing relationships with grownup kids and letting go of adult children.

Parents and Adult Children

Parents start with protecting their children, teaching them to talk and walk and do several other things, training them at every step to face the real world when they grow up and become independent self-confident adults. They start out with making all the decisions for the child and then slowly let them have little choices and later share reins with them in decision-making processes concerning the family. Then, the 'adulthood' arrives ever so slowly and yet so suddenly your little ones struggle to build their careers, find a spouse and become a parent. They move away from homes to make their own nests. This time is quite hard for parents who are so longer used to their children's presence that they feel so lonely without them.

This is the time when they need to realize that what their child is now achieving is the result of their constant efforts. They have to shift from using parental authority with their kids to being 'friends' of these new adults. It is a time for a new role. Even adult children need love, guidance and insight from their parents from time to time, though they may get caught up in their own lives and get less time. This is also the time to set healthy boundaries so that your children can know how much of love, financial and emotional support and guidance they can expect from you and where they are crossing the lines by being over-dependent or abusive to you. As children pass into adulthood, the time for independence for both parents and children is very important for a healthy parent-child relationship.

As children start to shoulder more and more responsibilities, they want your guidance and support but also the faith, independence and approval for whatever decisions they make. The society and your child's life are undergoing many changes and you are the one to establish the line between helping your child and holding their hand. It is advisable to plan ahead for this transition period so that you can face the situations more easily, when the time comes. You need to help your growing child to establish his or her own identity, balance your priorities, find ways to fight loneliness and save for your future and old age while your children need to prepare themselves for financial and relationship struggles, make a career, deal with work pressure and peer pressure and develop their own political views amongst many other things. Only open and honest communication between parents and adult children can assure a functional relationship between them, which is full of love, respect, freedom and responsibility.

Grown-up Children at Home
Grown-up children living at home is not an uncommon phenomenon and there are many cases where a child still lives at home, even when he or she is 21. This is especially the case when the children study or work in the same city as their parents and still don’t have a family.

Adult Children Moving Back Home
Just when all of your kids have moved out and you and your spouse are still in your ‘honeymoon’ period enjoying privacy that had been sacrificed for years, one of your adult children rebound back to home for some reason such as financial problem or an emotional struggle, where they need a refuge and their parents for love and guidance.

Extended Family Relationships
Most families visit their parents and in-laws during annual vacations but there are only few families, who know how to have fun with in-laws and have a loving atmosphere when all extended family members meet together during holiday time. Extended family relationships need to be nurtured too.

Grandparents as Parents
There is a sharp rise in the number of children who are being raised by persons other than their parents and in majority of the cases, these persons are none other that the grandparents. However, bringing up your grandchildren is no easy task. Even though grandparents are experienced parents and are quite aware of the developmental needs of children, there are several special issues that make it tough for them to rear up the kids

In-Law Relations with Spouses
Married children and parents may have different points of view and if they are not dealt with, in a mature manner, they may turn out into stressed in-law relations and conflicts between inlaws, parents and children. Good, strong and healthy in-law relationships are an important factor of the life of married couples and if you have good relations with the spouse of your children, it can become a major contribution factor in the success of your children’s marriage.

Problems in Children's Marriages
The announcement of their kids being divorced may come as a shock to their aging parents. Their reaction to the news can play an important role in their child’s lives, however. Parents may worry and cry over the sadness their children will have to face and how they must be broken-hearted. They may feel powerless, angry, guilty, and ashamed and may grieve the loss as dreams of their happily married children may be broken.