Parenting in itself is a hard job but step parenting is much more difficult. Yet, some simple tips & strategies that we learn in our daily lives can be used to build good step relationships and become a successful step parent. Parents have to understand that since step families are a result of the dissolution of the first family due to the death of the spouse or divorce, children may still be recuperating from their losses or they might still be grieving and mourning for their loss. Even young children fantasize that their step family will be just like their first family and may have expectations that are hard to fulfill. It is the duty of the parents to redefine 'family' for them and develop a relationship from the beginning.
They may have to make the children understand that you constitute a
group and their hobbies and your interests can together be integrated to
make a new identity for themselves and strengthen your bonding with
them. Expecting instant attachment or love from our step children is
unrealistic but you have a right to be treated with respect. You can set
an example to them by treating them with respect and encourage their
trust by avoiding making any negative comments about biological parents
or siblings of your step children, when they are around. While
disciplining your children, let their biological parent or spouse take
the lead, especially with older children. In case you are the only one
left to take care of your step children, act like 'adult in charge'
or baby sitter rather than a parent.
Whenever the kids rebel and use 'You are not my parent' talk
as their weapon to not listen to you, be clear and firm. You need to be
confident to say that you do not intend to replace their mom or dad. If
the children's biological parent is not around to discipline them,
you can say that since you are the 'adult in charge' of them
at the moment, you are responsible to see that they follow the rules of
the house. It is very important that you are your spouse always stand
united in front of your step children. Talk about your differences when
they are not around and if your children and children of your spouse are
living together, there should be one rule for all the children. Spend
some one-on-one time alone with your step children to build a good
relationship with them and share their activities and take them for a
drive where you two can have fun together.Biological children and step
children may both crave for your undivided attention. Try to spend
sometime alone with all of them. If you are having special talk with
your biological children, keep low and do not blow the trumpet around
your step kids. A positive attitude, forgetting and forgiving little
things and avoiding criticism or sarcasm in your communication with step
children can cement your relations forever. If your kids are members of
two households, you may need to go and visit them with your spouse. Try
to keep your schedule if it means inconvenience or overwork for your. If
the child needs you both, never miss the opportunity to help out and
cooperate and earn their trust and love. Always keep your marital
relations in focus and set aside some time with 'only' your
spouse. It has been seen that stress of step parenting is one of the
main reasons of divorce in step families.
Changing Role of Step
Remarriages are not so simple, particularly when kids are involved. Stepparents are often criticized, for not taking proper care of stepchildren. But it is not always that stepparents are bad. Cinderella had a wicked stepmother, but that doesn't have to be a truth for your family situation if you find out the proper way to bond with your stepchildren.
All step families may have different needs and as effective stepparents you have to play an active role in earning the trust and respect of your children. First you have to focus on building a relationship with your children and then move on to a disciplinary role. To gain parental authority
Smart Stepparenting Tips
Stepfamilies may have the couple and biological children of one or both of the spouses. The thumb rule to successful parenting in a step family is the harmony between biological parent and the stepparent. Remember, the strength of your love and affection of your spouse will determine whether your relations can endure the pressures and challenges of the stepfamily couples and give it stability.
Stepfamily Integration with
Stepfamily integration and bonding with a stepchild is not something that can be controlled. It takes time, sometimes even years, for stepfamilies to begin to think or act like a normal family. In fact, it is never easy to build intimacy and affection in step relationships. During the time of remarriage
Losses of Stepchildren
Children are most vulnerable to hurt and scars caused by conflicts, separations or deaths of their parents and they feel the losses much more deeply than they can expresses. At such a time, even adults are so heart broken that they seldom realize what is going in the child’s mind and heart.